Smelling roses, crying rivers, living life the best I can while learning its okay for me to be happy every once and awhile.
I’m stuck in bed right now with nothing better to do with my time, so here’s a list of cute shit I found online.
Nothing insightful or mind blowing about this post. I just feel REALLY STUPID. Just all around dumb.
Story time. I thought I was getting a pug as a surprise present. I was out with my mother in law the other day, talking to her about these cute puppy pictures I saw online of toddlers sleeping with puppies and she randomly says, “You’re not getting a pug for Christmas.” I was like, “Okaaaay. Didn’t even say that was just talking about cute puppy pictures.” Anyways, the next day I was telling my husband about it and he gave me this weird look which I could have sworn was him looking like “Oh shit she knows.” So yesterday my husband asks me to go look at offices with him and I thought for sure that he was taking my son and I to go look at pugs. Nope. Went to look at offices to rent. I laughed and told him about how I thought he was getting me a pug and he kinda told me no way in hell was I getting a pug. It’s winter, we can’t afford it, etc.
Now I feel like complete and utter shit. I don’t think I’m getting a pug, and now I’m pretty positive that his mom thinks I’m this greedy spoiled child and telling my husband I thought that I was getting one pretty much confirms that.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m 27, and I have no idea how to be an adult. I feel as though my parents failed me in that regard. They shielded me from the reality of life to the point where I had no idea how to take care of myself and I could not for the life of me make wise financial decisions. I feel as though they did it so I couldn’t leave, so they could keep me with them forever. My parents loved it when I was a little kid, and it makes me sad that they probably will never see me as an adult. Now that I’m out of their household and living with my husband I fear that I’ve put most of the adult responsibilities onto him, which is unfair to say the least. So, I’m going to use this blog as a method of growing up, and hopefully to learn how to be the parent I never had.
I’m going to take baby steps and slowly become the adult I should have been a long time ago. My goal is to have my own business making comics, bringing in money doing what I love. If I can’t do that, then I will be working full time for the city I live in, but only if this doesn’t pan out.
At the moment I am raising our two year old son, so that consumes much of my time. But if I start doing rough draft writing now, I can easily progress into producing comics when I have more time on my hands. This will be my space to flesh out my goals, that way they’re out of my head and in the open where I can be held accountable for them.
Doing this and working towards my dream, while simultaneously doing household chores and watching my son and all that entails will hopefully relieve a lot of the burdens which are current on my husband. This marriage needs to be a partnership, and not so one-sided.